When we ask a 2 year-old child carry their own backpack, are we asking too much? When we tell a 12 year-old to mop up their spill off the floor, are we acting like tyrants?

In today’s world, some of those ‘little things’ that would have been an unspoken expectation a couple of generations ago, have suddenly become serious eyebrow raisers. Some parents may think the teacher is being “mean”. The reality: They’re trying to help the child build a little something called self-efficacy.

In a society that is currently obsessed with self-esteem, many experts (and non-experts) believe that our children are now being over-helped, over-directed and over-protected. Despite our good intentions, we are depriving our children of the chance to strengthen the belief in their own ability to complete tasks and reach their goals – something that is arguably critical to future success.

Julie Lythcott-Haims, the former Dean of Freshmen at Stanford, presented a great TED talk view on the topic a couple of years ago. If you’re looking for ways to help set your child up for success, take a few moments and watch this video.